Communication is a vital part of our lives, but many of us find it difficult to make new friends. We feel shy, fear rejection, and end up hoping that an interesting person will find us instead. These difficulties are especially acute for people with ADHD and ASD. However, with the right approach, they can easily overcome communication barriers and build friendships or romantic relationships.
What you need to know about ADHD and ASD
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) are conditions that affect how someone perceives the world around them and interacts with others.
People with ADHD often find it difficult to concentrate. They cannot maintain focus on one thing for a long time, whether it’s an activity or just a conversation. This disorder manifests in that the person:
- looks distracted
- interrupts their chat partner
- constantly jumps from topic to topic
- quickly loses the thread of a conversation
People with ADHD are also often very emotional and tend to react overly sharply and intensely.
People with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), on the other hand, are often more reserved and withdrawn. Their disorder means that they perceive all information literally. They find it difficult to understand subtext, jokes or hidden hints. These individuals may struggle to engage in small talk and maintain eye contact. Because of this, it may seem as if the person is completely uninterested in communication. However, in reality, they simply perceive the world differently.
How interacting with people can be more comfortable and natural
Frequent misunderstandings, difficulty concentrating or perceiving the emotions of others can all cause stress and anxiety. However, there are simple guidelines that can help make introductions and ongoing communication easier. Since the behaviors of people with ADHD and ASD differ, recommendations will also vary.
Advice for people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:
- Use visual reminders. To stay on track during a conversation, make short notes on the key points of the discussion. This will help you focus on what the person is saying.
- Practice active listening. To ensure that you have correctly understood the meaning of your chat partner’s words, try paraphrasing them. This will help you avoid awkward situations.
- Communicate in segments. If long conversations tire you, take breaks. But be sure to inform your chat partner about this.
- Control your impulsiveness. If you tend to react reflexively, take a short pause before responding to gather your thoughts.
People with Autism Spectrum Disorder should follow these recommendations:
- Plan in advance what you want to talk about. This will help reduce anxiety before meeting and make you feel more confident. Prepare several topics for discussion, think through possible questions and answers. It also won’t hurt to determine a comfortable duration for the conversation.
- Set your boundaries. Speak clearly and specifically, using “I” statements. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and your interests. If maintaining eye contact is difficult for you, don’t force yourself to do it. An honest and early conversation about your condition will help avoid misunderstandings.
- Don’t be afraid to end the conversation. For people with ASD, knowing when to conclude an interaction is very important for maintaining psychological well-being. To avoid seeming rude, agree on the duration of the conversation in advance.
People with ADHD and ASD often experience issues such as meltdown and shutdown. A meltdown is an emotional outburst where a person may become irritable, express their emotions intensely, or scream. A shutdown is a state where the person withdraws inward, stops reacting to what is happening, and seems to “switch off.” Both reactions can occur due to fatigue, anxiety, or information overload. To prevent this from happening, it’s vitally important to be able to end a conversation in a timely manner.
For people with ADHD and ASD, online dating services and video chat apps are an excellent way to control interactions with others. If necessary, you can quickly end the cam chat without having to explain yourself.
We recommend trying platforms such as LuckyCrush, its alternative coomeet.com/luckycrush, and Chatspin. Firstly, these sites have a large user base, so it won’t be difficult for you to find a truly interesting video chat partner. Secondly, online video chats have quality moderation, minimizing the risk of encountering inappropriate behavior. For example, on CooMeet, every user not only registers but also verifies their identity. So you can always be confident that the person on the other side of the screen is a real individual, not a fake or a bot.
Another advantage of roulette chat is that this format doesn’t obligate you to anything. If you don’t like the person you’re talking to or the discussion is heading in the wrong direction, you can click the “Next” button without any guilt. At the same time, you won’t have to waste time waiting for a response — communication happens in real time, and you can see and hear the person as if they were in the same room with you.
ADHD and ASD = loneliness?
Many people believe that because of their conditions, they’re doomed to be alone. This is not true at all. Yes, almost everyone with such disorders experiences difficulties in communication. However, by knowing how to behave, you can easily learn to interact with others naturally and make new friends.
The main thing is to find a way of communicating that is comfortable for you. For example, if it’s easier for you to communicate through writing messages, start with that instead of immediately arranging an in-person meeting. This will give you the opportunity to calmly think over your responses without the need to react instantly to what’s happening. If you want to see the person, try communicating through chatroulette. This format is as close as possible to real-life interaction, but at the same time, you are in a comfortable environment and can end the conversation whenever you wish.
It is important to remember: ADHD and ASD are not deficiencies, just different ways of perceiving the world. And this in no way prevents you from being an interesting person. People with these characteristics notice details that others might overlook, are genuinely interested in what matters to them, and can be loyal friends. And anyway, communication skills can be developed. So don’t be afraid to interact with others, instead look for ways of communicating that are comfortable for you.